Y HALO THAR

IM UP 4 ALL BUSINES DAT IMPLIEZ KATS AN/OR LAUGHIN AT OBZOLET STRUCTUREZ AN INSTITUSHUNS.

PLZ CALL 666 1312 FEED-ALL-KATS 4 PURRPOSALZ.

Disclaimers: 
* I'm not actually a cat. Sadly. The cat pictured does live with me, though. We call him Cosmo.
* Fake number, do not call.